As a general rule, we don’t intend to follow pro se cases because they rarely prove instructive to federal practitioners. But this summary of Flores’ claims in a transfer order from the Western District of Michigan to Judge Montalvo’s Court is too entertaining to pass up:
Flores alleges that, while he was a pretrial detainee at the El Paso County, he suffered certain indignities at the hands of an employees of the federal government, including interference with his legal mail and retaliation for filing a civil lawsuit against the El Paso Sheriff’s Department. Flores also alleges the employees of the federal government have been using satellites that can detect individual genetic codes to cause him and others pain and suffering, and even death. Flores believes the same satellites have been used to interfere with the marriages of some of his relatives, by causing them to have sexual relations outside the marriage, sometimes against the individual’s will.
Slip op. at 1.